my year of adventure begins

So this is the year of adventure. I am trying new things every month to grow and live my life. This month I went shooting. For those who know me I am not a fan of guns. I hate them, but I actually had a lot of fun. I conquered my fear of them and actually became a pretty good shot. I am looking forward to doing it again. Next month I am going to crash a wedding! I am going to go sky diving and over night hiking during the summer. In other news, I also have started to work out again. i have a new plan and after two weeks i am already tightening up. I am working out four days a week in the morning lifting weights, every day during my lunch i do a cardio mixed with tightening my problem area, my butt, and three days i stay after work to do a little more. I am losing fast now and eating better. I am very close to my goal, but going to go for a smaller size like a 12. The only problem is my glutes and it is going to be the last to go, but i swear it is going to go! So this year is off to a great start. also I have been thinking dating is the wrong choice now. I want to date and i have some nice guys who are interested, but i don't know why it feels wrong. Lastly i have set a date to go to the temple. I am so excited and glad i finally am going. It finally feels right and I am really ready to make this commitment. If you remember on my June posting I was struggling until I had that awesome experience there, for those who have not read it read June and the spiritual experience in Zion, I felt like i was never going to get there and now April 6th is the day i make my huge commitment to the Lord and I am so happy I made it, doesn't mean life is going to get easier, but now i can go in the Temple, do work and be closer to the Lord more than ever before in my life. What an awesome thing that is going to be!!!
So this is me accepting what is done, move on and try to continue to make better choices and live to the fullest. Will keep updated about all the adventures.

my new book idea and new thoughts

So i am going to start my new book idea this weekend. i will get back to my novel i have been working on, but i am just not into writing a love story. my heart would not be in it since my only love experience was a depressing and sad one. I am excited to start something new. I have been writing it in my head the last few days and i like it so far. I have been remembering important moments in my life and some silly one. To look back and see have far i have come in this life is funny. I don't think after all the choices i made early on that i would finally become this stable and normal as normal could be girl. I could have gone in a total other direction in my life and yet i came out OK and better. I love who i am today. I am still strange and see things in different ways, but i love it. It must have a purpose in this life and there has got be a reason for it. I feel like I am here to do more than get married and have kids. That is important too and I am looking forward to it, but i feel i have something more to give and do here in this world, but i have no idea what. i will figure it out. This book about my silly strange crazy life is just for me to see, but i may want to see if it will be published one day. I think some people would find my journey so far interesting, but maybe not. Even though my life has not turned out the way i felt it would after all these years, i am finally OK with it. I am still sad about it, but i have no idea what is going to happen next and that is exciting and very scary too. All i know is I am grateful for my life and my experiences.

life keeps going and i will become what i need to

Christmas was awesome. I have a wonderful family who i adore and feel blessed to have them in my life. Things are going up and down as i get over the last hurdle of understanding the loss i have felt these last few months. I truly trust the Lord and know things happen for a reason. I am looking forward and not back. i am learning I can not take things back from the past and the pain i have felt these last few months has taught me to be stronger. I just needed to know how to be stronger without going bitter, which i fight everyday. I know that going bitter will destroy me and i cant let that happen. It doesnt hurt as much as it did a few months ago, but it sadly pokes at me once and a while. This year I am going to grow more into what i can become and i know that the only way to do that is through the Lord. Looking forward to the furture and being the best i can be.

wow it has been a while

just realized i have not posted in a while so thought i would do a quick one. So started dating again, but already have wanted to stop. Just not attracting some great guys sadly. Thinking maybe i should not rush trying to force myself to move on to someone else so fast. Enjoying my job with my crazy three classes. I am doing pretty well after a few rough months finding out Andy was dating to Andy getting engaged, but realize how used i was and how everything works out the way it is suppose to. I wish him and his wife to be all the joy that will come. Also still loving primary and know i am going to love doing it for the rest of my life. So that is all for now. Not really much going on.

video of Erin dancing

last few days

Erin crossed eyed

Erin at the chalk art festival telling me no
Rained out
Stupid rain.


We let people walk across.

The last few days I have been dedicated to losing the rest of this weight. I have been excising two hours a day and watching what I am eating. These last few pounds are the hardest. I have the tiniest waist but a massive bottom half. So my goal is to lose about 12 pounds by the end of the summer.
Monday we took my dad out for fathers day. It was fun but I also felt left out a little. Everyone is married and having kids. Then there is me who is by herself and seems to get yelled at a lot for no reason. It made me realize that my siblings don't really know me. They still think I am that snotty teenager, but I have grown up and they just don't seem to realize it. Oh well don't know what i can do to change that. Just got to deal with it I guess. I got some cute video of my niece Erin being silly at the restaurant. The first is Tricia trying to teach her the rock out finger sign, but Erin just does the one finger dance. The second one is her just being silly cute. As you hear in the background me responding to my sister in laws comment that Erin gives me something to blog about like I have no life. She is just so cute how can I not. Also i got a pic of her going crossed eyed.
Also some pics of the chalk art festival. 15 or 20 minutes after we finished it rained!!! 6 hours of time ruined. Oh well it was still fun.

A spiritual experience in Zions

Climbed all the way up in between those two peaks and just below the top of them.

Top of upper pool rock. (there is a green pool underneath, but took pictures of that with another camera. Will add later after developed.)

Stream from middle pool.

One of the many steep stairs I had to climb.

and many more just like this.

view before turning the corner to the stairs. (that is Liz, Kathy, and Emmalee blurs at the lower pool.)

Waterfall from lower pool.

Waterfall from lower pool.

I had a spiritual experience on one of the hikes in Zions National Park that I would like share. There is a hike in Zions that is called The Emerald Pools. They are three layers of pools the lower, middle and upper. The lower pool hike is paved mostly and not too steep, but you have to climb a little. The lower pool had a little waterfall you could walk underneath and it went into a little pool. It was pretty and I felt pretty satisfied I made it without too much of a struggle. So I decided to try to get to the second pool. At first it was just steep and not too bad. Then I got around a corner of a huge rock and saw these rock stairs. There were a few and when I got to the top and turned another corner where there were more stairs that were a lot steeper. I felt like giving up, but I continued where there were about 7 to 8 more steep stairs. Finally we got to the middle pool and I felt really great because I didn't give up. I almost turned back but I said I made it this far might as well keep going. So I went on. The trail to the upper pool was very tricky. There were a lot of rocks and soft sand that you could easily slip on. You took a little more time to figure out where would be the best place to step. It was hard, but not as hard as it was to the middle pool and I felt since I worked so hard on that one I should keep going. Finally I reached the upper pool and it was gorgeous. It was a large cliff with a arch looking hole and at the bottom was a pool of the color of green. It was surrounded by big boulders and a little stream coming from the pool that lead down to the middle pool. As I was sitting there feeling pretty amazed I did it, the Lord put this beautiful message in my head. I could compare my hike to my spirituality. Right now I am at the lower pool. Satisfied with where I am at but knowing I should try to get to the upper one. Now I am attempting to get to the middle pool, but it is getting hard. So many steep obstacles and my own doubts in my way. Wanting at every second to turn back or just stop halfway. Realizing if I keep trying and going I will eventually get there. Trust in the Lord and knowing I am worth it and I can do it. When I finally get there and I am aiming for the top I know it will be hard, but I already went through so much that will not seem as hard. I will have the experiences and the feel for things plus the skills to keep going. I trust and know I can do it because of the tough climb to the middle. When I reach to the upper I will feel even more satisfied and closer to the Lord. Even though I want to be at the upper part right now I need to focus on getting to the middle. I need to get all the tools and experience before attempting to get to the upper. I have to get through the rough middle before reaching to the upper. It is going to be really hard and I might want to give up, but it will be worth it in the end. I am so appreciative to having this experience because I have been having a rough time now. I am trying to get ready to receive my endowments and things have not gone so smoothly. I have had struggles and doubts that I am ready for that commitment. I realize that is because I want to skip the middle pool and just get to the upper. I know that I need to gain some tools and knowledge first. I am not going to reach the upper by just receiving my endowments. My endowments are part of halfway getting to the middle. Anyways I thought that was a pretty cool thing I wanted to share. I have more pictures, but I used a disposable camera. I didn't take more with my phone for some reason. I will put up more of the upper pool because the rock is just part of it and it is more beautiful.