New family member and maybe new career?

This week started off with the birth of my new nephew Jacob Jared. Parents are my older sister and her husband. He is so cute and tiny. I love him so much already. Trying to figure out what nickname to give him. Erin is bushka, Seth is mal'chik which is Russian for little boy, and McKenzie is burunduk which is Russian for chipmunk. I think I will wait to see what his personality is like before I decide. Another thing that has come up in my mind is a new career one day. First I would like to say I love my job. Teaching young children has been an enriching experience. I also feel I have grown in many ways and I am good at it. This whole new thought about maybe changing started two weeks ago. I am taking an institute class on the Book of Mormon. I am scripture dumb to be honest, but I am enjoying learning in this class and working hard to understand. I was listening to my teacher and this thought came to me, "you want to do this". I at first thought, what? Me? I am not known for knowing the scriptures and I dont think I could do it. The next few days I pondered about it and felt that this is where I need to head eventually. I love the gospel and to teach it will be the best thing ever. I think once I get some studying down and finish paying off my debts, ( i know i will not be paid much to be an institute or seminary teacher), that I should work towards this. I want to help young people understand the gospel better and help them gain a love for it as I have these last few years. I think me being young at times emotionally helps me connect to young people and for some strange reason they trust me quickly. So this is what I feel I need to work towards in my life. It is not going to happen anytime soon, but I feel if I work hard and want it I have a chance at it. I don't think any other job will do besides what I am doing now. So we shall see what the future brings and looking forward to working towards this. If this is where I feel the Lord wants me to go then it will work out.

The Lord's Work

Sunday I woke up feeling that I was going to feel inspired to bare my testimony, so I prayed to my Heavenly Father that I did not want to. It is not that I dont love sharing my testimony, but he has been having me do it a lot these last few months. He told me in a blessing to do so, but I didnt think it was going to be almost every month. Anyways, so got to church and felt that I needed to. I really did not have a lot to say and most of it was random thoughts. I mentioned like I always do my love of the Temple and its work, my new calling(the fear it brings), and I am far from perfect. So just random thoughts and I bet more people think I am strange socially, which I am. After that went to teach primary, which I love and after that a woman came up to me. She told me that her two daughters should be on my list and we discovered that they were not. She told me they are having a hard time coming to church and may need a push. I find it amazing how the Lord works and how important it is to be in tune. If I didn't go up I would not have their names and wouldn't go visit them on our door to door campaign. (i feel like such a missionary, which is great since i didnt go because I thought i would have lost Andy, but lost him anyways :) ). I remember the blessing my brother gave me a few weeks ago about my fear of this calling and the social aspect of it. Social things are my weakness I admit. Anyways he said, "this is not your work but my work and my work will be done." I pondered about that yesterday and realized the Lord was saying if you are not going to do it I will give it to someone who will. I realized at that moment I wanted to be the one who did it and grow in my weaknesses. Also to receive that joy from doing the work. There are two kinds of people in the church, those who do the work or those who watch the work be done. I want to be the one who does it. I love doing the work. It is hard but I love it because I have such a testimony of the Gospel. I know this is the complete truth and living it brings happiness. I only half way lived it before and I not perfect, ( far from it, i mean I do have a mouth on me), but doing my best to live it has brought me so much joy. It has changed me for the better and I am so much happier than I ever have been. I love my life and humbled everyday by the gifts I have. I dont think I will ever make up for my past and taking for granted this life I have, but I will work hard to a least make up for some of it. I have this great comfortable, balanced life with a great job as well as an awesome family and friends. So my last thought is let us all work hard to do the work and not watch. I promise you that you will find joy serving the Lord. The Lord gives you these things to prepare you and to help you grow into what he needs you to be. We all have this great potential to be great servants to our Heavenly Father and I hope we all will try.

My New Goal

So on Sunday I went to a fireside where the amazing Sherri Dew spoke. She talked about influences and what influences your life. My life now has been influenced a lot by the Temple. It has changed me for the better. She talked about finding out your purpose in life and what the Lord wants you to do. I recently got called to be the Young Single Adult Rep in my home ward. So I am still in my primary calling, but I have this other one. This one scares me to death. I have to do things and put myself in situations that I have avoided for most of my life. I have to contact 73 people who are young single adults in the ward, but only 6 of them go to church. I am going to have to go door to door, put myself in awkward situations when someone slams the door in my face. Having said this I know I have to do it and I will do it because it is the Lord's work not mine. He is having me do this to prepare me for whatever else he has planned for me. I am not married at this time to help find people or just someone to show them how much the Lord loves them and wants them to know of him. He is teaching me skills I thought I never would have and doing things I never would do. I am doing things that have scared me most of my life, but I am loving it. He is pushing me to be where he needs me to be. The other mission I have is to get the young single adults to gain a love for the Temple. I feel so strongly that if they keep going and gain this love and excitement that they would have more strength to fight all the things they are being tempted with. We had our first temple day on Saturday and only three showed up. I am not worried though because that means I have more work to do. I have such a strong testimony of the temple and its power and of its importance. Work and knowledge is important and the keys to a better life. I know this to be true. So I have work to be done. Knowing how is something I am figuring out, but I am doing the Lord's work and I am his instrument so I am in good hands.

Camping

So i went camping during my birthday. I love camping and i wish i did it more often. I love going up into the mountains, fresh air, all the trees, animals and I love the night sky. You forget about all the stars here in the city. One thing I loved was getting up before sunrise and hiked up to the lake. I enjoyed watching the suns light touching the tip of the mountains and then spreading all over the mountain giving it this great light. I I can relate that to Heavenly Fathers and Jesus Christ's love for us. We are this mountain craving light and we stand there firmly and strong he slowly shines on us. The firmer in place we are the more light we receive. Sometimes the light is cover with clouds of darkness, but if we again hold strong and firm the light will find us again. I hope this makes sense. In my head it does, but we all have times where we don't understand what goes on in this unique brain of mine. Mostly staying firm in the gospel gives you light. I know this to be true from my own experiences. The more we hold strong the more light we can feel. It is going to rain and be dark with mistakes, but I promise the light will return if you work hard at staying strong.
Camping can be a fun and dirty and wonderful experience to be enjoyed with yourself and family, but it is also amazing to see all to the glory in God and this world. We can learn a lot about life, the gospel, and grow spiritually by taking the time to watch and ponder at all it can teach us. Let us all try and live in the light. I promise you will find joy as I have.

My love for the Temple

So I know not so long ago I wrote about how I have changed by going to the Temple, but this week I realize how much I love the Temple. Monday I went to a YSA home evening where they talked about the symbolism of the outside of the Temple. I loved this even though for a few minutes I got a little sad and stupid for a silly reason about a stupid boy getting married there (not too happy with myself that i felt that way,but oh well), but snapped out of it to really look at the Temple. I loved learning more about all the details that this temple has. How it ties in with the Gospel. My heart and spirit was soaking it up and wanting to learn more. Yesterday I was driving to Jordan River Temple for my one of my twice a week sessions. There was a huge overcast in the sky and a tiny bit of light shone through. The only places in the valley the light touched was Oquirrah Mountain Temple and the Jordan River Temple. I thought how true that in darkness the Temple is where we can go for light we so desperately need sometimes. I am not in darkness anymore, but still appreciate that I can still feel that peace no matter what. That even though right now I am living in this light and I can feel it so much more ten fold. I also know when I am going to have more hard time that I can receive peace and comfort more than outside the temple. I didn't go once last week and I felt the difference that week. It wasn't like I was in despair but I felt like I didn't do something that makes me whole. Going to the Temple makes me feel whole and I am so grateful everyday that I made the changes I need to make and committed myself as much as I have because I have never felt so much joy. Looking forward to going a few times with my wonderful family and hopefully one day with the awesome man I am going to marry that is taking his sweet time to enter my life, but I am looking forward to when I can be sealed to him whoever he may be. So I will tone it down with the Temple talk because I know I talk about it a lot, but I truly do find joy because of it and I am all about spreading the joy!! I know this is why I am happier than ever. I am grateful for the opportunities I have to serve my Savior and I push myself to learn more and become stronger. I want to serve him well and do his work the best I can. I love my great life of love and service I get to have!!!

Things I am Grateful for

These last few months I have never been happier in my life. Ever since receiving my endowments I see life in a whole new way. I find joy in things so small. A few years ago I could never do that. I have a blessed life. I wanted to list some the things I have been grateful for.I cant list all because that is too much.

1.Being born in a family who had the Gospel. Though I didn't truly commit myself until recently, but I have had the complete truth from the beginning of my life. I was taught about my savior and knew of him. That has meant a lot to me even when I wasn't doing everything I was suppose to do.

2. My family. We are a good little family who are close and love one another. We love and accept each other for who we are. That is such an important thing.

3. Having the physical needs. I have a house, job, food, and a body. I truly have been blessed there at having these things. The house may not be a mansion, but i have a roof over my head. My job may not pay much, but it is a rewarding one and I feel I am pretty good at it. My body I haven't taken the best care of, but i am changing that. It is a gift and I want to take better care of this gift.As sore as I get I know that this is going to better in the long run.

4. That I made better choices now. I am glad to have had some of my darkest times in my life. It made me appreciate the light I am living in now. I had to have those dark days, make some of the bad choices to experience and soak up the joy I am having now. Doesn't mean i am never going to mess up again because I will, but not as drastic as before. I am grateful I am worthy to go to the Temple and never going to take that for granted. I know I am going to have more hardships, but I look at them as things I need to learn. It is not fun going through them, but the end I see why and am grateful to have learned that lesson.

5. I am grateful that I love. I love my family. I love my friends. I love children. I have loved so much already in this life. I am glad, even when I was heartbroken, that I can see that gift I have had to experience all these kinds of love. Love is such a wonderfully great thing that can easily be turned into bitterness. I hope I can always remember this.

I have a great life and it took me sadly a long time to realize this, but i do now. That is all that matters. I know that my Heavenly Father's love and faith in me has changed my life for the better. I am not the same person I was and I love that I wake up feeling his love for me. I wake up appreciating everything more and wanting to serve him well as much as possible. He has done more for me than I sometimes feel that I deserve, but I try everyday to make up for my wrongdoings from my past. I look forward to the future in serving him and living this great life he has given me the best I can. I am truly grateful to be alive.

Touched in the Heart by The Choir

So today I watched a show that comes from England. It is called The Choir and is about this young man who has a love for choir music. He wants to take a school in England that has no choir, train them, and enter them into the Choir Olympics in China. I am amazed at how the self esteem of children has gotten so bad. That these kids felt like no one believed in them and how that affects how they see themselves and how they live life. I watched how this one man who has had a pretty great life, been introduced to a lot of beautiful things in life and has a pretty busy life took the time to help these kids accomplish something they never thought possible. Just by believing in them changed their lives. They may not be the best singers ever or have a career in music, but he taught them the importance of believing in yourself and setting goals for yourself. That if you work hard and try your best, that you really can do anything. To have a good work ethic, team work, and believing in yourself, you can pretty much find joy even in the disappointments. I think we as a society don't help our children understand that and the importance of that value to have. That it is true in some things you do need to give up after a while, but not after you do everything that is possible to obtain it. So many people devalue their worth in life and give up. This breaks my heart. I know that if you have one person who truly believes in you, just one, that makes a difference in a child's life. I feel that this is so important and feel like I need to do something, but I don't know what I can do? Life is hard, but somehow we have lost teaching children how to deal with the up and downs. A lot of them feel entitled and don't want to work hard because what is the point. We need to fix this or we will have so many unhappy people in the future. Maybe I sound arrogant or not really aware of the world, but i am very passionate about this and feel I need to do something. I know I believe in me because my Heavenly Father does and through him and his support I can accomplish my desires and his will for me. I want to let others know this as well but also I want people who don't have the same beliefs as I do to feel that great feeling of believing in themselves. Everyone deserves to feel their worth in this life if they believe in Jesus Christ or not. They still need to know their worth in this life. Everyone has great potential no matter where you come from. It is up to us to help children to know this, but it is also up to them realize that and work at it. Even if we get a few that learn this then it has been worth it. I feel like I need to be part of something to help children or teenagers realize this, but what I need to do I know not at this moment. Anyone has ideas let me know. I hope I figure this out soon and try to help these kids who do not believe in themselves. They deserve so much more than some are given. So there are my thoughts of the day!!!