Sunday I woke up feeling that I was going to feel inspired to bare my testimony, so I prayed to my Heavenly Father that I did not want to. It is not that I dont love sharing my testimony, but he has been having me do it a lot these last few months. He told me in a blessing to do so, but I didnt think it was going to be almost every month. Anyways, so got to church and felt that I needed to. I really did not have a lot to say and most of it was random thoughts. I mentioned like I always do my love of the Temple and its work, my new calling(the fear it brings), and I am far from perfect. So just random thoughts and I bet more people think I am strange socially, which I am. After that went to teach primary, which I love and after that a woman came up to me. She told me that her two daughters should be on my list and we discovered that they were not. She told me they are having a hard time coming to church and may need a push. I find it amazing how the Lord works and how important it is to be in tune. If I didn't go up I would not have their names and wouldn't go visit them on our door to door campaign. (i feel like such a missionary, which is great since i didnt go because I thought i would have lost Andy, but lost him anyways :) ). I remember the blessing my brother gave me a few weeks ago about my fear of this calling and the social aspect of it. Social things are my weakness I admit. Anyways he said, "this is not your work but my work and my work will be done." I pondered about that yesterday and realized the Lord was saying if you are not going to do it I will give it to someone who will. I realized at that moment I wanted to be the one who did it and grow in my weaknesses. Also to receive that joy from doing the work. There are two kinds of people in the church, those who do the work or those who watch the work be done. I want to be the one who does it. I love doing the work. It is hard but I love it because I have such a testimony of the Gospel. I know this is the complete truth and living it brings happiness. I only half way lived it before and I not perfect, ( far from it, i mean I do have a mouth on me), but doing my best to live it has brought me so much joy. It has changed me for the better and I am so much happier than I ever have been. I love my life and humbled everyday by the gifts I have. I dont think I will ever make up for my past and taking for granted this life I have, but I will work hard to a least make up for some of it. I have this great comfortable, balanced life with a great job as well as an awesome family and friends. So my last thought is let us all work hard to do the work and not watch. I promise you that you will find joy serving the Lord. The Lord gives you these things to prepare you and to help you grow into what he needs you to be. We all have this great potential to be great servants to our Heavenly Father and I hope we all will try.
This week started off with the birth of my new nephew Jacob Jared. Parents are my older sister and her husband. He is so cute and tiny. I love him so much already. Trying to figure out what nickname to give him. Erin is bushka, Seth is mal'chik which is Russian for little boy, and McKenzie is burunduk which is Russian for chipmunk. I think I will wait to see what his personality is like before I decide. Another thing that has come up in my mind is a new career one day. First I would like to say I love my job. Teaching young children has been an enriching experience. I also feel I have grown in many ways and I am good at it. This whole new thought about maybe changing started two weeks ago. I am taking an institute class on the Book of Mormon. I am scripture dumb to be honest, but I am enjoying learning in this class and working hard to understand. I was listening to my teacher and this thought came to me, "you want to do this". I at first thought, what? Me? I am not known for knowing the scriptures and I dont think I could do it. The next few days I pondered about it and felt that this is where I need to head eventually. I love the gospel and to teach it will be the best thing ever. I think once I get some studying down and finish paying off my debts, ( i know i will not be paid much to be an institute or seminary teacher), that I should work towards this. I want to help young people understand the gospel better and help them gain a love for it as I have these last few years. I think me being young at times emotionally helps me connect to young people and for some strange reason they trust me quickly. So this is what I feel I need to work towards in my life. It is not going to happen anytime soon, but I feel if I work hard and want it I have a chance at it. I don't think any other job will do besides what I am doing now. So we shall see what the future brings and looking forward to working towards this. If this is where I feel the Lord wants me to go then it will work out.
