life keeps going and i will become what i need to

Christmas was awesome. I have a wonderful family who i adore and feel blessed to have them in my life. Things are going up and down as i get over the last hurdle of understanding the loss i have felt these last few months. I truly trust the Lord and know things happen for a reason. I am looking forward and not back. i am learning I can not take things back from the past and the pain i have felt these last few months has taught me to be stronger. I just needed to know how to be stronger without going bitter, which i fight everyday. I know that going bitter will destroy me and i cant let that happen. It doesnt hurt as much as it did a few months ago, but it sadly pokes at me once and a while. This year I am going to grow more into what i can become and i know that the only way to do that is through the Lord. Looking forward to the furture and being the best i can be.

wow it has been a while

just realized i have not posted in a while so thought i would do a quick one. So started dating again, but already have wanted to stop. Just not attracting some great guys sadly. Thinking maybe i should not rush trying to force myself to move on to someone else so fast. Enjoying my job with my crazy three classes. I am doing pretty well after a few rough months finding out Andy was dating to Andy getting engaged, but realize how used i was and how everything works out the way it is suppose to. I wish him and his wife to be all the joy that will come. Also still loving primary and know i am going to love doing it for the rest of my life. So that is all for now. Not really much going on.

video of Erin dancing

last few days

Erin crossed eyed

Erin at the chalk art festival telling me no
Rained out
Stupid rain.


We let people walk across.

The last few days I have been dedicated to losing the rest of this weight. I have been excising two hours a day and watching what I am eating. These last few pounds are the hardest. I have the tiniest waist but a massive bottom half. So my goal is to lose about 12 pounds by the end of the summer.
Monday we took my dad out for fathers day. It was fun but I also felt left out a little. Everyone is married and having kids. Then there is me who is by herself and seems to get yelled at a lot for no reason. It made me realize that my siblings don't really know me. They still think I am that snotty teenager, but I have grown up and they just don't seem to realize it. Oh well don't know what i can do to change that. Just got to deal with it I guess. I got some cute video of my niece Erin being silly at the restaurant. The first is Tricia trying to teach her the rock out finger sign, but Erin just does the one finger dance. The second one is her just being silly cute. As you hear in the background me responding to my sister in laws comment that Erin gives me something to blog about like I have no life. She is just so cute how can I not. Also i got a pic of her going crossed eyed.
Also some pics of the chalk art festival. 15 or 20 minutes after we finished it rained!!! 6 hours of time ruined. Oh well it was still fun.

A spiritual experience in Zions

Climbed all the way up in between those two peaks and just below the top of them.

Top of upper pool rock. (there is a green pool underneath, but took pictures of that with another camera. Will add later after developed.)

Stream from middle pool.

One of the many steep stairs I had to climb.

and many more just like this.

view before turning the corner to the stairs. (that is Liz, Kathy, and Emmalee blurs at the lower pool.)

Waterfall from lower pool.

Waterfall from lower pool.

I had a spiritual experience on one of the hikes in Zions National Park that I would like share. There is a hike in Zions that is called The Emerald Pools. They are three layers of pools the lower, middle and upper. The lower pool hike is paved mostly and not too steep, but you have to climb a little. The lower pool had a little waterfall you could walk underneath and it went into a little pool. It was pretty and I felt pretty satisfied I made it without too much of a struggle. So I decided to try to get to the second pool. At first it was just steep and not too bad. Then I got around a corner of a huge rock and saw these rock stairs. There were a few and when I got to the top and turned another corner where there were more stairs that were a lot steeper. I felt like giving up, but I continued where there were about 7 to 8 more steep stairs. Finally we got to the middle pool and I felt really great because I didn't give up. I almost turned back but I said I made it this far might as well keep going. So I went on. The trail to the upper pool was very tricky. There were a lot of rocks and soft sand that you could easily slip on. You took a little more time to figure out where would be the best place to step. It was hard, but not as hard as it was to the middle pool and I felt since I worked so hard on that one I should keep going. Finally I reached the upper pool and it was gorgeous. It was a large cliff with a arch looking hole and at the bottom was a pool of the color of green. It was surrounded by big boulders and a little stream coming from the pool that lead down to the middle pool. As I was sitting there feeling pretty amazed I did it, the Lord put this beautiful message in my head. I could compare my hike to my spirituality. Right now I am at the lower pool. Satisfied with where I am at but knowing I should try to get to the upper one. Now I am attempting to get to the middle pool, but it is getting hard. So many steep obstacles and my own doubts in my way. Wanting at every second to turn back or just stop halfway. Realizing if I keep trying and going I will eventually get there. Trust in the Lord and knowing I am worth it and I can do it. When I finally get there and I am aiming for the top I know it will be hard, but I already went through so much that will not seem as hard. I will have the experiences and the feel for things plus the skills to keep going. I trust and know I can do it because of the tough climb to the middle. When I reach to the upper I will feel even more satisfied and closer to the Lord. Even though I want to be at the upper part right now I need to focus on getting to the middle. I need to get all the tools and experience before attempting to get to the upper. I have to get through the rough middle before reaching to the upper. It is going to be really hard and I might want to give up, but it will be worth it in the end. I am so appreciative to having this experience because I have been having a rough time now. I am trying to get ready to receive my endowments and things have not gone so smoothly. I have had struggles and doubts that I am ready for that commitment. I realize that is because I want to skip the middle pool and just get to the upper. I know that I need to gain some tools and knowledge first. I am not going to reach the upper by just receiving my endowments. My endowments are part of halfway getting to the middle. Anyways I thought that was a pretty cool thing I wanted to share. I have more pictures, but I used a disposable camera. I didn't take more with my phone for some reason. I will put up more of the upper pool because the rock is just part of it and it is more beautiful.

My First Trip to the Grand Canyon

This is the ledge I had a panic attack on!!!

I have never been to the Grand Canyon. We went to the north side. It was incredible, but for some reason I freaked out every time I was near an edge. I have no clue why. I have never been afraid of heights. I was always the one to freak out people by standing close to the edge. One overlook I had an anxiety attack. My heart started racing, I was breathing hard, and felt dizzy. I had to walk away and sit down. Crazy. Despite my nervousness, it was pretty awesome.

Zion's Ponderosa

Cowboy cabin 2.

Liz eating.

The swimming pool with two hot tubs!!!

Sunset view.

Zack, Liz, Casey, Kathy, and Emmalee in front of our cabin.

Katy, Emmalee, and Casey looking at pics.

So I had a blast in Zions. I went with Liz and Kathy along with Kathy's family. It was a much needed vacation. So we stayed at the Zion Ponderosa Ranch resort and I recommend it greatly. It is about 20 minutes away from Zions park and 2 hours away from the north part of the Grand Canyon. It has showers and the water doesn't take long to get warm. It is very clean. You can stay in a cowboy cabin like me that holds 6 people or you could camp. It isn't too bad in prices. You could also get a suite, but they are more pricey. It has a swimming pool that is great. It also has a variety of activities you can choose from like horse back riding, zip lining, jeep rides, paintball and much more. Also they have different things going on at night like Wednesday we went on a night hike, Friday there was a dance, and Saturday a rodeo. It was a fun place to stay and planning on going back next year for sure.

Baby Seth is Here!!!

After being told for a month that she was going to have him early, Seth came two days after his due date. They broke Camille's water at 8:30am and Seth came out at 10am. He was 8lbs 9oz. He is so cute and we are all happy he has arrived. Erin is so cute with him. She keeps saying how cute he is and gives him lots of kisses. Welcome Seth to the crazy Grimshaw Clan.

Erin at Wheeler Farm

Yesterday mom and I took Erin to Wheeler farm for her first time. She is such a joy!!! She talked to the animals. She told the cow, "kahck, don't drink" when the cow was drinking dirty water. She also took a picture of the cows with my phone. She also backed away really fast when the goat stuck its head out to say hi. We were looking at the horses and a rooster crowed, she told it, "shhhhh". It is fun to watch little ones discover the world around them. Also we went on a tractor ride. She was waving to the cows and said, "bye moo, bye moo". She also said, "Hi baby, look at me. Hi, look at me." I just love her to death.