Last few months busy but fantastical

I have had a pretty busy holiday season. Last month I went to see my sister's who lives in Twin Falls Idaho for Thanksgiving. It was nice. She doesn't live too far from the temple there so the first thing I did was walk to it. It took an hour there and an hour back. It was fantabulous, (a word I have been saying as well as the word fantastical). Two days later I did a session. The temple is still my heart and I love it. Also I have been doing a lot of things in my singles ward. I am becoming so attached to this ward and it is going to be hard when I leave. Plus I have been enjoying living by myself since my mom moved into the condo already, but I am looking forward to joining her once our place sales. Anyways I love my ward. Right now I am compassionate service leader. I basically am the morale committee of the relief society, which I love because I want the girls to know their worth as daughters of our Hevenly Father. I was also in the ward talent show where I lip sang to Dancing Queen in a costume. At the part of the song when they sing "anybody could be that guy" I started pulling Ken Barbie dolls that I borrowed from my niece out of a bag. I will try to put video of it on here. It was pretty lame but awesome at the same time. For one of the activities in our ward we went to look at the lights at temple square at the Salt Lake Temple. I had the best time with this group. We had a twirling contest under the lights of some pink trees. I got second place to the awesome guy of the group. Then we went to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building where I dared him to waltz around the Christmas tree for a gift card, which he did. I have loved that I am in a place where I don't care what others think and just be silly. I am living life more than ever and I just love it. Christmas was great as well. It was hard because it was the first without my aunt Nancy. I cant believe it has been 5 months since she so sadly took her own life, but I know she is going to be alright. My sister made a beautiful slide show about her that celebrates her life perfectly and she gave us all a copy of it. I love Christmas, being with family and celebrating the beginning of Christ's mission on earth. I love my Savior and I am humbled every day by His love and all He does for me. Looking forward to New Year's and to 2012 where I know good things are in store for me. My life hasn't turned out the way I wanted it to but I believe it is better. So many changes coming like moving, turning 30, career and much more. I am looking forward to see where I go next.

Oregon Trip

After a long wonderful, but also sad summer I decided to take a trip. My sis in law talks about Oregon a lot so I decided with the extra money I made this summer and I just went. I am trying to just live a little if possible and not be too stingy with money, but not to go too crazy anyways so I went for 4 days last week. I had the best time going non stop. First thing we did was go to the Portland temple. As I have said before I love temples. As I sat outside it the songs I know My Redeemer Lives and The Spirit Of God were in my head. I testify I know the truth to these songs when I am inside or outside of the temple I feel the words these songs express deep in my heart. Then we drove to the coast where we did 5 hikes in 2 days. I love hiking and being in nature. We did two waterfalls, ocean top hikes and a few lighthouses. Plus in the mornings at 6 am we walked around the beach for two hours. So pleasant to be up when the sun is coming up and walking by the ocean in the fog. I loved Oregon so much that I am really looking into moving there. I love all the outdoor things you can do and the crazy wonderful beach people. I really do love all the different kinds of people there are in this world. No matter what their beliefs are or how they choose to live their life they all deserve to be loved because the Lord loves them. Everyone has a purpose in this life and a value. I love people's quirks. Life would be boring without them. I am a quirky person and that is why I think I love quirky people. I respect life no matter how you live it differently from me, I respect that power and gift of free will and choice. No one is not invaluable even horrible unpleasant people. I believe in showing them with love and compassion not matter if they hate me. Hopefully one day their hearts will be softened and they realize how amazing life is. Anyways the trip to Oregon and the people I met made me reflect on that a lot. I am also not perfect in that because I do admit I can be critical sometimes especially with people within my own faith. That is one of the things I am working on. I am harder on them than I am of people in other religions and lifestyles. Anyways, so in love with Oregon and going back soon to do more hiking and exploring.
Other news I have been dating. I am enjoying this. I have not enjoyed dating in quite sometime so enjoying having fun and just being silly. I am a silly person but don't expose that often but with my aunt's sad and tragic death I have really just pushing myself out of my shell and embracing my quirkiness more than ever. I have always loved who I am but have not opened up myself to others, but that is changing. I know I am a fun, silly, loving, and a great gal and it is time people saw me for me. No more fear of not understanding me. If they like me great if not that is ok too. As long as I am kind to people and loving that is all that matters. I have a lot of love to give.
So goals this month are live to the fullest, love as much as I can and be the best person possible and just have fun. I love my life and am just so happy in it.

my new fave thing to do beside genealogy

So lately I have been making playlists. I believe that you can set your life to music to certain times of your life. I love music!!! So I started off with a period when I was in love with Andy. It starts off amazing then gets sadder, to being pissed, and finally how it works out that I am glad to have experienced it. The song First Time Ever I Saw Your Face was playing in the car when, after 2 years of on and off dating, i realized I loved Andy and that song helped me realize that. It helped me make sense of all those silly emotions I was having. I am a girl who doesnt fall in love easily, but when I do I love hard. I realize now how silly and dumb I was at expressing that love and am embarrassed at some things, but I was young and in love for the first time. I didnt know what I was doing. Very funny and sad at the same time. At least I know I wont make the same mistakes again. Still I have only loved once. Anyways I have also done songs that helped my spirituality grow. It started off with the basics then how it grew by the spirit and the hardships i faced to get me to where I am now. The happiness i have and grateful to have finally gotten to a beautiful place that keeps getting more beautiful and wonderful. That is because I know my Savior better now and am committed to serving Him the best I can. Now I am working on my childhood one. So the list playing now on my blog is my first love about Andy. I hope you enjoy it. What else is new with me is I am dating again. Scary i know and I have met a lot of jerks sadly. I have had guys call me fat, say I should feel lucky they are attracted to me, or i dont date girls who dont take care of their bodies. Honestly I feel maybe I should stop again because I have too much respect and love for myself to go through this crap. I mean I have it all, I am smart, funny, have a beautiful face, i am doing my best to live the gospel everyday plus growing in it everyday, I go to the temple often, I would make a great mother, I am amazing kisser (i have been told), I am pretty dang sexy (again I have been told), and I am just a plain fun good woman. The only thing is I am a chunk (not enough to call fat or chunky, a chunk), which I have lost a lot already, but it takes time men. Good grief I dont deserve all this. Getting my heartbroken by probably the love of my life and him choosing someone else was cruddy enough. Oh well at least I loved. I am not going to stop i just have to deal with the jerks to find the one who deserves all this!! ( I hope people understand that I am not conceded, just confident. Also they caught on to my sarcasm. I really do think I am a great gal, but I know I have a lot of work to do to keep changing and growing to what I am suppose to be. I am not perfect at all, but do my best to be my best self. I am not better than anyone. I just wanted to add that note.) Other than that I am still happy and still trying to get over my aunt's death, but I am more at peace about it than before. Also celebrated my birthday by taking a spontaneous trip to Wendover. I was in Tooele at a star gazing party and my Aunt's wife said hey do you want to go to Wendover? I said sure why not and went. It was silly fun and I did gamble for the first time which I dont get how people do that all day. I was pretty bored after a while. I only gambled $20. It was a great cultural experience and who knows if I would ever do it again. At least I tried it right? Life is still going very well.

July, a rough month and tired of mormons getting a bad wrap, but oh well

Well July was a rough month for my family. We lost my dear aunt Nancy in tragic circumstances early in the month. It was kind of unexpected. As sad as it is losing her I know that she is with her parents, my grandma and grandpa and where she is experiencing a great love and understanding that she really needs. We were all there when she passed and that room was filled with love and peace. That is what is so amazing about the power of the Savior to give comfort to a family in a truly horrible situation. I am grateful for that. I don't know what I would do without it. That love and peace is so valuable to me and I am so glad to know it. What a blessing.
So as you read from the title I am a little frustrated, not mad, but sad. I recently was channel surfing and stopped on a local religious station where there was a 30 minute show all about how bad the Mormons are and how wrong they are. So I don't care that they don't share the same beliefs and I respect their beliefs, but seriously why don't you use those 30 minutes to talk about your beliefs instead of bashing another? I don't get it. I love other religions and respect their beliefs. We actually share similar beliefs if you really look at it. Also people think we are a hating religion, but that is not true. Yes there are some Mormons who say stupid things and are judgemental, but that is in other religions as well. For example people think we hate gay people. That is not true. I have an aunt who is gay and I love her. I also love her wife and their child. I don't hate them or not associate with them, in fact I am close to them. It is sad when some LDS people shun their family members who are gay. I know that our Father in Heaven loves them just as much as He loves me. I know He would be saddened by treating them badly. I do not fully understand why the Lord has said what He has about it, but I cant deny the other truths about the Gospel that I have prayed and fasted and received confirmation that it is true. One day maybe I will understand. Also it bothers me people say that President Monson is a hateful man. The prophet would be the first person to give anyone, drug addict, prostitute, or just an ordinary man a hug and say they are loved by him and the Lord. Finally I am also tired of the LDS people who say hateful things. They make us other Mormons who are doing their best to love everyone, respect and not judging them a bad wrap. I just wish they really worked better at understanding the Gospel deeper instead of living the cultural way. There is a difference. Oh well I must love the judgemental people as well. That is all I can do right? My flaw is I can be judgemental to judgemental people. Something I am working on!
This next month I hope to be a better one. I am turning one year older and going to Oregon, so that is exciting. Even though July has been a sad month for me, I am still pretty happy. The Lord has given me the strength to get through and continues to do so. I will always be grateful for this. I have a great family and a great life. What more can a girl ask for or need?

Summer so far

Summer of 2011 is off to a great start. It started with a family outing to Antelope Island. We went to the beach and the cowboy festival. I love my family. I have such an amazing family. We are all different with different beliefs and desires but we all love and respect one another. The more time I spend with my family I understand why they are important in our Heavenly Fathers plan. They really do help you learn, grow and understand life. I adore them all and my nieces and nephews are cuter than any one else's! I will stand by that always. Then we did our chalk art festival. This year we did my niece blowing bubbles and in some bubbles there are magical things in them. I did most of the bubbles and finally have some artistic talent!!! We were a hit. A lot of people told us we were their fave. Last week I went to Taylorville Dayzz and had a blast. I saw an Abba impersonator band, ( I love Abba), and I sang every word to every song. I am not ashamed of it and admit it proudly. I mean it isnt my fab Abba, but it will do. Going to another one in July. So the concert was followed by an awesome firework show. Next up is I am going to be more silly. Not very many people know that I am because I hide it, but that is going to change. I am so happy now and comfortable in my skin. I love this phase of my life. So I am going to go sword fight with glow in the dark swords on a playground, dress up as a Victorian gal and go in the mountains or park and take photos. Plus many more. Also what is next is moving and then going to Oregon. I am having the best summer so far!!! I am happy, love life, my testimony in the Gospel is growing stronger every day, going to the Temple still every week doing my ancestors work, and so much more that is bringing me so much joy. I truly am a blessed girl.

what is up

So nothing too exciting going on in my life, but a few changes. Last month I really got into Genealogy while looking up my Dad's line. I found about 70 people in 3 weeks. So I have been busy at the Temple every week getting their work done. What amazing, sacred experiences I am having. Well that got me thinking that I want to go to school and become a professional genealogist. I am going to get started soon and very excited about this next phase in my life. Also I have joined a singles ward and so far it has been great with some few reminders that I am in a different place than some of them. Not that is wrong or I am better, but just I am older. I would never want to be in my early 20's ever again. I love this phase of my life because I am more secure and more experienced. I am a lot calmer in life and plain happy. With all this I do realize that the older and the more experiences I get, I still don't know anything about life. It is always changing and mysterious. I love finding new things and discovering how wrong I am about things. It is wonderful. So that is what is up!!!

Christ is Risen - Matt Maher - Lyrics

Aaron Shust--My Savior My God (with Lyrics)

My Conference Weekend

I had a wonderfully busy conference weekend. First I want to say that The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true. It is the complete truth here on earth!!! I just love being a member of this church. It brings me great joy. Anyways so my region of Young Single Adults were asked to participate in singing in the free speech zone before the first session of Saturday's session. I said yes, but then thought well really I just ignore the protesters and just thought it to be silly, so I wasn't going to go. Friday after returning from my fave place on earth, the temple, I had three messages on my machine about going. People wanted rides and the Stake person wanted me to count how many showed up. I took this as I needed to go. So I went and it was a truly wonderful experience. I realized that we were not there to drown out the protesters, but to help the members maintain the Spirit on their way to conference. I got teary eyed singing the songs I Know That My Redeemer Lives and Joseph's Smiths First Prayer. Much of my own testimony is of these songs say. I do know that my Redeemer lives and He is my best friend. I always will say that I know Joseph Smith saw the Living God and Savior that glorious day in the Sacred Grove. It was wonderful to sing my testimony of the Gospel to thousands of people. After we got to go to the first session and had some nice seats. The talks were wonderful and direct which I feel we need. It is amazing to gather with thousands of LDS people in one room feeling the Spirit so strongly with the prophet and the apostles! A truly amazing experience. The rest of the conference was great and spent with family. What a truly great blessed life I have!!!
Other news in my life, hit a stumble with losing weight. My body is not helping and losing fast. I hate how I lose a lot then stop. It is very frustrating, but I need to keep pushing myself. It just sucks to kick my butt as hard as I do and the results are slow!!! Oh well the best things are worth fighting for right? Well I keep saying it is in this situation, but man am I frustrated.
So once again the life of Amy is pretty amazing!!

What is going down this month with Amy

Like how I try to use slang in the title when I am so not that hip, but hey it felt right. So this month has been a great one. Where to start, well one change is I am losing weight again at a crazy pace. So far in two months I have lost 17lbs!!! I am doing a Boot Camp class that is kicking my trash but so worth it. I am mostly losing inches though. I have lost 3 inches off my hips and waist in a month!!! Also I am trying to run and beginning to like it. I had to stop for three weeks because of my old injury in my knee from chasing my sister with the hose, (I fractured my knee, lesson of never seeking revenge after your sister throws water in your face), I kinked it but now getting on track again. I just have to wrap it while running. So that is my physical goals that are coming along quite nicely.
Other things well I am going to start doing is some genealogy of my ancestors and start getting their Temple work done. I mean I go to the temple every week, might as well do my own family. I have a start from what some other family members have done, but mostly the men have had their work done, so there are about 40 women I have to do and I am very excited to get it started, but now I have to find more. I can feel that they are waiting and anxious. I just have to learn how to do that. I am good at pretending at knowing what I am doing, but I don't think that is going to serve me well.
This month I have taken a break from all the religious books I have been reading, which I have loved and learned from, but I need to just read something different for a while. I mean the Lord created so much more in this world than just the Gospel. The Gospel is the most important, but there is so much more that came from him and I am learning as much as i can. I am reading Sophia Tolstoya's journal. I love history and people in history. I love Leo Tolstoy's books but finding out what kind of man he was to his wife and kids makes me not like him all too much and think he was actually a jerk. I know that I am reading just her side of the story and I need to read more about him before truly making an informed decision on the matter ( I say this in a joking manner. I am not taking it that seriously). I also can see how he got annoyed with her too. She was very dramatic. I know I have had my drama moments, I wont deny, but nothing like her. I mean she was the same immature at 60 as she was at 18. I feel I have matured a lot in these last 3 years. Anyways that is my opinion so far. Plus I am so grateful to be born at this time. If I was born in those days I would have been so screwed because of my opinions and personality. I am only half screwed now, so that is a step up and the positive on my unique mind.
Well that is really all that is going down with me right now. I hope everyone else is having an amazing life like me. I am truly blessed and so happy. I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for all that He gives me. Since I have made the Gospel one of my main priorities in my life I have never been happier. Life is wonderful.

What I know about love so far

Valentine's day is coming up and though I dont have a valentine I am happy about that. I am glad because I know what is feels like to love someone. So I thought I would say what I feel true love is. I feel that real love is loving a person for who they are. You dont want to change them, but love them for their flaws and the great things about them. You also continue on together and realizing they are not going to stay the same person that you first met because as you grow in this life and they change as well as you. Real love is working hard together to make a life with one another and accepting that person with love even when mess up. Being there to support them even if you dont agree with them. It is trying to see where they come from but also in a loving way help them to see where you are coming from too. Compromise is a key and never letting the small stuff get in the way. They need to be more than someone you love, but your best friend. That friendship is needed so badly because you will go through days you dont love them but you like them. That helps in staying power in a couple. Friendship is so important in a relationship. Someone you count on and they count on you. Communicate with love and understanding, that is another big thing. Another thing I learned is loving someone means also being happy for them when they choose someone else. It hurts, but if you really loved them you are happy for them and want the very best for them. Falling in love is easy, but staying in love takes work and commitment. But if you work at it your love grows and becomes something more. Sadly when I experienced this love that person did not love me in the same way. But I am always grateful to have experienced it and with all the heartache I would never change those feelings because really loving someone is truly a great gift even when that person chooses someone else or things dont work out. It is those great feelings of love that makes us humans great and a great life lesson we all have to experience to grow as people in this life. There is still much more to learn about love, but again I am glad to know what it feels like and hopefully one day feel it again and for it to work out!!! So happy valentines day everyone!!!

What's Amy Learning about life this time

Like the title??? I dont really have a exciting title for a subject, but I thought this one would do.
So this week I heard someone say, "why do girls cry alot?" It got me thinking I am a strange girl because I really dont cry often. I cried a lot over that one guy last year and when I bare my testimony, or when being touched by the Spirit, but other than that I dont cry a lot. Which I am trying to decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing. My brother has once said of me I know Amy only cries when she is really sad or and that is when I know she is really hurting. So something I should be happy about or not? Is there something wrong with me that I dont cry often? Or do I just handle things differently than most girls? Again I am strange. :)
Anyways, I mostly wanted to comment on this amazing book I am reading. Hearing the Voice of the Lord by Gerald Lund. It is about principles and patterns of personal revelation. While there is so much that I am learning I will quickly say a few. In a chapter that talks about agency and revelation he quotes a hymn that struck me. Here are the words: Know this, that every soul is free. To choose his life and what he'll be. For this eternal truth is giv'n That God will force no man to heaven.
That struck me in a way even though I have known about the gift of agency for a long time, but I never thought much about it until that last line. We have to choose to return to Him and choose to do what it takes to return to Him. Choose, what a powerful word.
Also when it comes to revelation first it is up to the Lord when, where, how, and to who he gives revelation to. It is in his time table. Also the part in this book that says we have to do things to receive revelation. In the scriptures He tells us to meditate, hearken, hold fast to, fest upon, lay hold upon, search diligently, and treasure up. Those are action words, things we need to do to prepare our hearts, mind and spirit to receive revelation. We have to also figure it out ourselves, decide if it is right and then ask. I think we get confused about how that works and expect Him to just tell us, but we have to do the work to learn wisdom. In my job we teach children by setting up activities to allow them to explore and learn for themselves. We guide them to ask questions and to experience it to learn. In a way that is kind of the same thing, but the Lord is the ultimate teacher and our body and spirits are learning important things to help us not just in this life but the next as well. Cool thing to realize, huh?
There is so much more that I am learning from this book. It is teaching me a lot about how to gain revelation and that sometimes He wants us to develop self reliance. Awesome stuff!!! So that is what Amy has learned this week.

True Happiness is.......

I realized I know what true happiness is. Back story I will say quickly, so I have battled with depression when younger. I just was not happy with my life. So I know what if feels like to be sad a lot. The last year and a half I have been mostly happy and I discovered that true happiness is not being bubbly all the time or smiling a lot or being blissful all day every day. While those are feelings or actions of being happy, but they are moment feelings. The feelings that last only for a while that, unfortunately, fade. Then what is true happiness you are asking???? Well I feel it is peace!!! Having that peace inside truly is real happiness. To be at peace with life, who you are and where you are going is true happiness. The way I have felt this true happiness was letting the Lord, my Savior Jesus Christ completely in my heart. I lived a long time with kind of letting Him in, but it wasn't until I let Him all the way in that I felt this pure joy that I had never felt in my life before. That peace and comfort that only He can give is amazing. It doesn't mean that I don't ever feel sad once and a while about some disappointments in life, but I feel them and let them go. I don't dwell as much because I have learned that those disappointments happen so I can learn. Peace is happiness and I am experiencing it. Well that is another random thought from my brain that I have decided to share with whoever reads about my boring but wonderful life. Hope you have enjoyed and maybe discovered something great or discovered that this girl is really strange. Oh well I am happy being strange!!!!

New year New goals

Last year my goal was to make it to the Temple. Did that and received much joy by continuing to go every week. That was they only goal I had, so this year I have goals in different areas in my life. First spiritual goals are continue to work on recognizing the spirit. I am great at it when it comes to teaching in church, in my other calling, and knowing the gospel is true, but guiding me in my personal choices and life, not so much. Huge example, me feeling so strongly that Andy was my eternal companion. Don't know how I felt as strongly as I did and it not be right, so that has not helped me to trust myself and knowing what is right or not in my personal decisions. Anyways working on that as well in depth and enriching scripture studies. Physical goals to run a 5K in a few months and to finally get my eating habits stable so I can get the rest of this weight off. I work out everyday, but that is not enough for the last 30lbs, so food is the final key. As well giving up my beloved Dr. Pepper, tears are in my eyes about that. :) Being a better person goals are learning to listen. Those who know me I am a talker so I want to be a better listener. My friends have said that they love that I talk but I really think I should be better at listening because I want to be a better friend. Lastly, I need to work on not swearing so much. I go through spurts in my life where I swear a lot or not at all. Now it has gotten to the point that I am not aware I am swearing and that bothers me. My fave words are the S-word, B-word, an occasional A-word and the one I say the most, good hell. So I don't think that keeps myself in tune when I keep saying "good hell" or the s-word in the car, at gym is where i mostly say them, or sometimes in casual conversation. So those are my goals this year. Wish me luck and Happy New Year everyone!!!