What i learned today by watching a movie

This week for me has had a mixtures of emotions inside of me. I have felt angry, sad, heartbroken, numb, love, disappointment and lastly peace. It hasnt been all too pleasant i must say, but then today i watched a movie called How to Make An American Quilt. It may not be the best movie ever made, but after this week I needed this movie. It talks about different kinds of love and life choices. It is a reflections of these older women lives about choices and disappointments about love and acceptance of life. They loved spouses, children, friends, and family. Some stories they didnt end up with the one they loved and other ones did. The people we love may hurt us or disappoint us, but if we truly love then we forgive them. It made me see that love really is a gift. To love and be loved by family, friends, etc. really is something not to neglect or take for granted. There are times we get disappointed or things are not what they seem, but to remember that gift of love can so easily be looked over by all the bad feelings. I realize what I gift I had to love another human being for so long. To love the good and the bad of that person really was such a great thing. The relationship wasnt great at times it was miserable and messed up or not what i wanted it to be, but I loved someone and learned a lot from that love. I get so mad at the result of it or get lost in the disappointment that I lose sight of the greatness of loving someone even if it didnt work out. Although I probably would never know for sure, but I feel that he loved me once a long time ago and that he still cares for me. So I have been loved in my opinion, just not as I much as i loved him. I also realized the other love i have felt. I have felt my families love. Even though they dont get me or understand me or sometimes I feel i dont matter to them, i know they have loved me. Another love is from friends. I do tend to push people away, but having people check on me this week even though they may think it silly i was upset, they supported me. It meant a lot to know people cared. Another thing kind of love I am still working on is the love for myself. I love who I am most of the time, but somethings about me like, I guess you could say I am dramatic at times, but I call it someone who feels deeply. It can be annoying at times. Also I have been told I am unique and at times i love that, but it can be very lonely. I realize i should look at that as a gift. I may not have a lot of friends or people may not understand me, but I get to feel things in a way most do not and that is something not to hate, but to enjoy. It may mean i may break easily and that is what i need to work on, but I need to accept that things are not always going to work out the way i want. Lastly I have felt God's love for me. That has changed me in more ways than I expected. To feel His love for me has made me be able to get through things without feeling bitter for too long. It helps me accept things I probably may not understand, to do things I would not see myself doing. So I have had many gifts of different kinds of loves. I know there are people out there who dont get as much love as me and I hope i never take it for granted. Also we chose how we can see disappointments and heartbreaks. It sucks at times and it is hard. It may come back and hit me again, but I have a choice to dwell in the sadness or bitterness of it or to look at the beauty of it. I think I am going to choose the beauty of it, but i do have to feel that bitterness to see that beauty. I just choose not to dwell in it. I have such a love filled life and I am grateful for that gift to love and to love well even though things dont end the way i wanted it. So that is what I learned from an early '90s movie today.