Spiritual Milestones

I was thinking a lot about milestones in every aspect of life lately (have not been sleeping well so my mind is thinking a lot. I just hope people who read this don't think I am oh so serious now because again I am very balanced. I am just growing a lot spiritually this year, crazy fast. I am making up for all those years I screwed around :)). It is funny where my brain goes to tie up random thoughts I have had through out many weeks. One of my primary kids got baptised over the weekend and I thought she is now having one of the spiritual milestones that we must have in life to learn from and get to the next step. My uncle who passed away is having another spiritual milestone by going on to the next life. I had a milestone 8 months ago by receiving that awesome gift of my endowments in the temple. Those are all amazing happy milestones that we get to experience in this life and even in the next. We also have to have those sad milestones. A few weeks ago I was in Deseret Book looking around. For those who know me I am not a person who usually cries. I am not emotional at all, that being said I was looking at all the amazing pictures of the Savior. My heart was full of love then I saw the painting called Against the Wind by Liz Lemon Swindle. I started to get teary eyed right there in the store. Why you ask, a girl who rarely cries unless I am really hurting, well I looked at that painting and I know exactly how that feels to be drowning and our Savior is holding on to you, trying to hold you up. Trying to pull you out, grasping so hard, being so scared and to be lifted up finally embracing my Savior. I have such a love for my big brother. He is my best friend and I am eternally grateful to Him for holding on to me and never letting go. Every time I think of Him or see a painting of Him I get teary eyed which I love but also find strange since again I have never ever been like this until recently. My family teases me about it. I guess it is funny to see how I have changed :). Anyways as embarrassing as that story may be the other day it hit me that we also have to hit that hard trial and know what it feels like to have the Lord hold on to you even when you want to let go, He never will. He may loose His grip a little because sometimes we need to fight on our own, but He is there supporting us. Anyways it is another spiritual milestone that we all have to have to grow spiritually. As crappy as it can be, but it is for our own good. My last thought is we all have to allow our hearts open to for us to hit our milestones, but our Lord also gives us many chances to do so. If we miss it once, He will allow us to do it again until we get it. We are all our on our own awesome journey of learning. I am glad of this because I remember when I was in my early 20's and I could have hit one and I didn't until recently. If He gave us only one chance, man I would be screwed!!! So this is what happens when random thoughts become one in the strange, but pretty cool brain of Amy. ( I just hope it makes sense to all of you because it always makes sense to me, but i do get that others may get lost.)