Monday, October 11, 2010

My Brain and wish for it

I really dislike that I am socially awkward. I have this great brain that sees the world in a different way. I think strange thoughts and it is a wonderful thing, but what good are these great thoughts when I cant express them eloquently? It is very annoying that I can not express myself in words at all and sound "special" when speaking. In my head I sound brilliant, but when it comes out of my mouth, not so much. It is very hard when I have so much I want to give and do, but I cant express my feelings about it without being misunderstood. Why could I not have been blessed with that great skill to sound smart like I know I am. So I was thinking what I could do to improve this flaw I have and cant think of what would work. So either I live with it or figure out how to speak eloquently. For example I am basically a missionary with the Young Single Adult group and even though there are days I dont want to go door to door, I do it because it is the Lords work. After I do it, like yesterday, I feel great and see the need for what I am doing. The problem is that how am I suppose to help the young singles if I cant express to them in ways they can relate? Luckily I have an 18 year old boy who is getting ready for a mission who is my partner to help, but he is leaving in a few months. I need to work on this I know, but how? So here is my plan 1: have confidence, I mean I am pretty confident mostly, but not with social things. I am confident of who I am, but not when showing who I am to others, so need to work on that. 2: practice thinking before talking. There is nothing worse than thinking about a social situation after it happens and realize all the things that came out didnt come out the way you wanted. That happens alot to me. 3: lastly pray for help. I know the Lord will help me with something I want to improve. He will help me grow and make my flaws a little better. One thing that will help is my new positive attitude in life. I get frustrated, but I know I can work on it and that is great to work on being better at things you find you lack in. I fully will be the first to admit I lack in social skills. So me, my great brain, and my mouth are all going to work together on improving Amy to be better and less socially awkward. I know I will never fully not be socially awkward, but being a little less is better, right?

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