Look how fat I was.

Mom found this old photo of us in Navoo I think three or four years ago. It looks like my head has shrunk. You never realize how big you are until you lose the weight and see old pictures. In this picture I was a size 26 and now I am almost an 18!!! Crazy. Also I found another job. It is at the Jewish Community Center. It is drop in care only and it is only part time, but I am glad to have at least some income coming in. The only scary part is no benefits. The Lord told me to take the first job offered to me and things will be okay and new opportunities are in store for me. I am very excited. Thank you Annie for the info on that. Anyways again look how fat I was!!! Crazy!!!! Shrunken head woman.

I got my CDA

I just called to see why it was taking me so long to get my CDA and they said that I passed! It is in the mail now. I am so excited because I worked hard on that and now I have it. It is good for five years and I then I have to renew it. So one reason I got laid off is because I didn't have it. The CDA people told me they sent it last week. Anyways I got an interview Wednesday at the JCC. Also I have gotten so many calls from parents supporting me and are upset. Most of them now are going to pull out. I feel bad for the teachers though. They are the best and work so hard. I am sorry they have to go through all this stress. Anyways thank you all who support me. I am so excited I passed, though I had no doubt because it was easy.

So I got laid off!!!

As some of you know that I got laid off today. They say that we are struggling and because of my education and performance they chose me to lay off. The thing is I have never been told or written up for my performance. I got my 3% raise, which is the highest you can get at your yearly review, also which I never really got a review because my boss never scheaduled one. My education, well I just finished my CDA. I took the test and I am awaiting the results. I know I passed because it was easy. They paid for me to get it because Accreditation people want more educated people with degrees. So just because it hasn't gone through they chose me. They have just hired four new people last month who do not have the education I do or the experience, but they still chose me. This is what I believe the real reason I was laid off. Last week my director and I had a communication problem. We have had a problem communicating on this issue for the last few weeks. She kept walking away from me. So I got a little loud last Friday out of frustration. I did apologize to her and said we need to find a way to communicate better. She also talked about me to a coworker and said I was driving her crazy. We finally solved the problem, but not with her. My coworkers Jennifer, Whitney, and I figured it out. This is not the only time I have had a problem. I have always talked to her about things and have been respectful too. So I wrote a letter to her boss telling her we are having problems and I feel that the director has been doing inappropriate things at work, for example, she took off her bra and swung it around her head in the front office where people could walk in and see her. She always walks away from problems and other people solve it. I wrote a email saying that I would like some solutions because I am running out. Well her boss wrote me back and said that she will schedule a meeting with me. So that meeting was set today at 3:00. They came and got me at 10:30. Her boss was on the phone and told me that they had to let me go. I said why do I have to be laid off when all I did was say we had a problem that needed to be solved? They said that me getting laid off has nothing to do with it. I think this is crap. I have been there for four and a half years. I work hard, I go above and beyond all the time, I care for my families and the children, and I care for my coworkers. This is why I finally said something and this is what I get. I am upset. I am a great teacher who got let go because I stood up to help make things better. My families are pissed though. I went back to get my stuff because I didn't want to go in tomorrow, which was suppose to be my last day, and I ran into parents. They are not understanding what is going on. They don't get why it was me that had to go. They are not understanding out of all the new hires that would be the more likely candidates were not let go. I cant say anything to them what is really going on because I will lose my pay they are giving to me until the day after Christmas. I have been called by parents tonight who are mad and they say they are going to put a fight for me to get back. I got hugs by people I didn't think I would have given me and they told me that I have meant so much to their families. They are pissed off and apparently they have been yelling at admin and asking what is really going on because what they are saying is crap and they know it. My parents are smart and know when there is more to a story. They have all offered letters of reference and babysitting jobs. I am touched that they care and are upset. I love my families and they are one of the reasons I am so sad about me leaving. The thing that gets me is when I called to tell them I was getting my stuff tonight, the director told me that she has had a bad day and when I bumped into her outside she said that it was nothing personal. Whatever, she had a bad day!!! I am so mad and sad. This was not right, but what can I do. I know the Lord will help me and yes I probably made a mistake to email my regional manager, but I love that center so much and wanted it to be the quality it once was. I feel I didn't do anything wrong, but it cost me my job that I loved. I have faith that other things will come, but I am sad this had to end. I really loved my job.

Dating really does just suck

I really hate dating. Just when I think I am ready to date again men just remind me how dumb and jerky they are. It is getting to the point where I just want to give up. I mean I loved someone for a long time, even though he turned out to not deserve it, but at least I got to experience it right? I got to experience loving someone so much that I was willing to give up my life here and move to another country for him. I loved him so much that all that mattered was that he was happy and safe. Not very many people open their hearts that much and experience that. Even though Andy hurt me big time and treated me poorly in the end, but I am grateful to know I am capable of loving in that way. I am just tired of men just being mean because I am not some dumb skinny blond. I know I am a pretty girl and I am smart, which might make some men intimidated of me. I just really don't want to do it anymore. I mean I accept a person no matter what they look like because I don't care. As long as they are a good person who is good to me. That is all that matters to me, but no, they think they deserve a model. I am trying not to turn into a bitter girl, but the more I try to date the more I become bitter towards men. I just don't want to go through what I did last time. The whole Andy thing crushed me and I went a little weird for a while. I don't ever want to feel that devastated again. I mean it still hurts some days and some days I miss Andy, but mostly I am fine and don't care because I know he didn't care for me the way I did him and he treated me like I was not worth his time. So I want to give up. I am a great girl who doesn't deserve to be treated like I am nothing, but I do want to date too. I just am tired of the jerks. I know my older sister went through the jerks for years, but she handles it better than me. I am just tired of putting myself out there and be treated like I am not worth getting to know because I am overweight. I know I am hot, so good grief men, get over yourselves. Sorry had to vent. I will get over it. I am just a little frustrated at the moment. I will be fine. I know I will find someone, but the whole process sucks. My husband better be worth this wait big time. Just kidding.

Anchorage it is!!!!

So I have made a choice. After some thoughtful consideration and talking to my family I have decided to move to Anchorage. I am so very excited and nervous because I dont know anyone up there. This feels right and I know I will get to my Russia eventually, but I feel the Lord wants me to go and live up in Alaska for a while. Some in my family are not happy about this and I dont know why, but I am at a place in my life where I say, why not do it? I have my family here, but nothing else. I want to explore all possibilities I can in life before I settle down, which I know is not soon. I have no desire to marry anytime soon. So I wont be moving until next year sometime. I have some things to settle here before I go up and move. Plus I need to talk about transfering. So there it is. Amy moving very far. I know the Lord will help me in this new phase of my life and I am looking foward to serving him in callings up there.

Twilight Midnight showing

So I am probably really crazy to have done this, but I went with my sister Becca and my sister in law Camille to the midnight showing of Twilight. I have read all the books and liked them, cheesiness and all. I was surrounded by a lot of teenagers who once and while would scream and ohhh and ahhh's. I liked it. I was just like the book. They actor who played Edward grew on me during the movie and at the end I loved him. I like how he made it a more intense Edward instead of a smothering one. So I love the movie Edward a little, but I know there is no such man. It was cute. The girl who played Bella did a great job at it. She is just how I imagined Bella to be. My little sister thought the 16 year old kid who played Jacob was hot!! She loves Jacob because he is more manly she says. Anyways, so I am crazy because I had to go to work the next day and better yet it was the first field trip I ever did with my class and better yet my co-teacher who planned this went on vacation. I had to be at work at 8:30. I didn't fall asleep until 3 am. I was fine until about 12pm and then I was crashing. I had a small class and had my coworkers Jennifer and Danette with me, so things went really well and my kids did such an awesome job at listening and sitting through this woman pirate musical. It was cute, but most were youth actors and they talked fast so I didn't really understand them most of the time. The best was watching the older lady pirate sword fight. Use your imagination and what you see is what it was. It was so funny.
Overall I had fun spending time with my sister and sister in law even though I am exhausted. I love spending time with my family. They are so awesomely weird!!!!

one thing that is frustrating and thought I would share

I know i just posted, but something just happened and I am annoyed. I used to be dramatic and at times I still am, but not as bad. I don't get how if I ask simple question and it is somehow viewed as being dramatic? Then someone doesn't answer directly and you ask a follow up because they didn't really answer, it also "comes across" dramatic. I don't get it. How does that become my fault? Why cant people just be honest and blunt. It sure would make things a lot easier. Why don't people just try and give someone the benefit of the doubt and give people a chance? I am frustrated, but I will get over it. I am just tired of people not willing to see that I have changed and treat me like I am the old me. Oh well, life goes on.

Another "only Amy" moment

So, today I was in the teacher bathroom taking my usual 10:00 potty time. (my bladder is on a timer for some reason).I arrived to see that the toilet was clogged up. I took the plunger and was nice to try to get it unplugged even though I did not plug it up. I mean I could have left it and went to the other bathroom, so i am a good, kind citizen. Five minutes later it was down low, so I thought it just need to be flushed again and it was unclogged. Well when I flushed it, it started overflowing. At first it was a little and I was thinking, "Well, okay, no one has to know how dumb I was to flush it again not being sure it was unclogged. I will clean it up." Then it started gushing out really fast and got to the point I was like, "well that plan has gone out the window. How do I get out of this without looking too stupid." Plus I still needed to go to the restroom. So I ran up to the front and told my assistant director that the toilet was clogged. Before I could finish she told me to use the plunger, which I thought how dumb do you think I am, but I finished saying that I did and it started to overflow and I still needed to go to the restroom. So she went to stop it and I to the public restroom in the next building. When I returned she had already unclogged it and was cleaning it up. I told her I would do it, but she insisted, so I let her. I felt bad though.
Also I have some news, I was nominated to be president on a committee at work called Better Together. It is a group that helps moral and make teacher's know they are appreciated. I am excited because our moral has gone down and I care about the teachers and want them to be happy. Believe me working with a bunch of unhappy women is a very unpleasant experience. The last group was OK, but they were the attitudes that they were right and everyone else is wrong. They did do some awesome things, but it was like this is what we are doing so deal with it. I respect all the teachers and think they are some of the best out there, but they are also high maintenance. I am included in that category, but I am getting better. I want the teachers to truly care and respect each other. Right now it is an only out there for themselves and a few friends way of life. I want that to stop and people to see things from other points of view. I want them to see that people see things different and we should communicate like so. I have two wonderful, upbeat women who I am excited to work with. We are in charge of doing team building activities at staff meetings and do plan fun activities throughout the year. So we will see how things go. I am excited to have more responsibilities and it is good at getting more people skills, which we all know I need.

Girls road trip

So, my sister Becca and I were going to go to Oregon or Alaska to check it out in April because her husband will be in Prague, (lucky guy), for school. Then I get this email the other day from her saying how about we go to Forks, Washington. For those of you who don't know about Forks then you must be living in another world. Forks is the place where the famous vampire books the Twilight series is based. I didn't even know it was a real place. Then she tells me my sister in law and my niece are coming and we are driving. So crazy me, goofy Becca, 8 month pregnant Camille, and my newly two year old niece Erin are going on quite an adventure. I read the books and liked them, even though some things were cheesy and I know there is no such thing as a guy like Edward in the world. I probably wouldn't even date a guy like that. I would feel smothered. I know most women love Edward, but I want a guy with flaws.Flaws are what makes a real person. Anyways oh, well it is going to be fun and we always have fun together. My family is awesome.

Move to Alaska or go to Russia?? Choices are tough.

So, as many of you know I have been deciding if I should move to a different state. My choices are Alaska, Oregon, or Montana. Most say Alaska because there are more men up there, but I don't want to move to find a man. That is just silly, but tempting. I can find me one here if I really wanted to, but I am tired of them. You know I have only been attracting the weirdos lately, but even so I just am enjoying life being single, but if someone comes along great, if not I dont care. I am too awesome of a girl to be single for much longer. Anyways it sounds like more of an adventure in Alaska, but Beaverton, Oregon sounds nice too as well as Helena, Montana. Alaska is on top of my list though because I have always wanted to go there and Montana looks beautiful. So I have those choices, but my desire to go to Russia is really strong still. That is my dream and I have promised my mom out of respect for her that I would visit first before I get up and move there. I know I will live there one day, but if anytime soon is uncertain. If I move to another state there is job security because I could transfer, but I could get a job as a nanny in Russia for an American family. I need to get there soon though because of how the relationship between the US and Russia is getting a little tense. I don't want to finally be able to go and they close the borders. I have posted pictures of my choices to show you how hard it is. The one of Beaverton is an old one, sorry, but it was the only one I could find besides the tree pics. Helena looks plain, but is surrounded by other places that are great. Anchorage looks awesome. Finally Saint Petersberg, what can I possibly say to explain its awesomeness? I would have to post two whole posts to give you just a small glimpse. So as you can see I am having a hard time to decide. I am excited about all the possibilities, but it is frustrating too. Oh well, I will figure it out. (I hope you can tell which is which, Saint Petersberg is first followed by Helena, two Beaverton pictures and ending with Anchorage. )

I need a photo session

I just realized I have no great looking pictures of me lately. I need a camera or something because I really want to compare pictures of me from a year ago to now. Hopefully some good ones turned out from Tricia's wedding.

I have these pictures, the one in the green is from a year ago and the web cam one is from a few months ago. They one Camille took of me at Tricia's wedding is OK, but i have a strange smile. You can sort of tell in the face, but I have lost a lot more since the web cam. I wish I would have documented my journey, but I don't think I am photogenic at all. I am a person who looks better in person. Anyways I just need to go all out and get super hot looking and take some new ones. I am not trying to sound vain, but I am proud of myself that I have worked so hard to loose this weight this last year.

Also I realized I have become quite boring lately. Someone I knew used to say I created drama, which I did, but now I dont do that I have become quite boring. All I do is work, work out and sleep. I dont want to go back to drama me, but I need to go out more. Those are my thoughts for today.

oh, thanks camille with helping get that stupid playlist working.

My First Post

Well, I finally decided to make a blog. My family has been doing theirs and so i thought, hey why not i do one. I have a lot of thoughts going on in my head to share. Let me start by what has happened this last week. Tricia got married!!! Yeah, I am happy for her and glad it is over. I am done with weddings for a long, long time. It was beautiful though. Tricia looked very happy. I love her, but man she is a huge perfectionist. I mean do you really have to have the matching soaps and lotions together in the bathroom??? Do you really need to have the floral scents in the woman's bathroom??? She is funny.
My journey with my personal trainer is almost done. I have lost almost 50lbs!!!! I love working out and I love my trainer, but I think I need to finish with her soon. I caused problems in her marriage. Let me explain. My old trainer, Cameron, is my new trainer's, Anne, husband. Cameron and I were partners for 9 months until he got a management position. Anyways, Cameron and I talked a lot about personal stuff and we got close. So the other day when I was working out with Anne she told me she was yelling at him about not helping around the house. She then made the comment about how I may know more about her and her marriage then she thinks I do. I replied, "yeah, Cameron told me about his childhood and his son." Anne looked at me and said "what, he has a son". OH CRAP!! So today she told me that she talked to him about it and at first he denied it, but then said he was ashamed of it and didn't tell her to protect her. So she went on about how she cant trust him.
Anyways in other news, I am going to go for getting my endowments. I am so excited and scared at the same time. I am excited to make that commitment to the Lord and look forward to new ways to serve him, but I am also scared for the same reason. I love the gospel and feel so ready for this, but i am nervous. Everyone wish me luck.
Well that is my first post.
Amy